New_001 on Xanga

Follow your heart...	...and your regrets will be few.

New_001

Name: Roman
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro:
Birthday: 4/2/1990
Gender: Male

Interests: RPGs, music: alice cooper, linkin park, papa roach, system of a down, "weird al" yankovic, twisted sister, eminem, DDR stuff, everclear, ramones, ect... DDR, gaming, FIRE, finding out if certain things are flamable, tv, comedy movies, drunk people (they are always fun), manga, anime, plays...
Expertise: Gaming, Fire

Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:

ubu0T

Member Since: 1/25/2005

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

...so...giving up has always been the easiest way out for me...and...the only thing i've ever seemed to be able to constantly do...so...that's pretty much what i'm doing at this point...the way i see it is...if the odds are against you...fight to your heart's whim...as i normally would do with something important to me...but...when there aren't any...even the slightest...chance of victory...why fight?...why fight...when there is no chance in hell you could win?...sure...i've seen 300 twice now...and...that's what they did...they knew there was no chance in hell for them to achieve a victory...but they fought...they fought for what they believed in...as i have been...but...the way they saw it...was a death in battle was the most honorable death possible...well...when there are no odds in your favor...not a single one...then...stop fighting...there's no point in dragging out something that will inevitably fail...just cut your losses...and move on...and though the feelings will remain...eventually they may go away...but...as far as fighting...i'm done...it's over...screw it...if it's meant to be...it will happen...but...i just give up...i surrender all my hope into nothingness...and hope something good will come of this in the long run...and...though i have yet to understand why it is more difficult for me to let go of a month long relationship than it was for a year long one...that's the way it is...and...yea...i give up...and put this chapter of my life behind me for me to look back on in the future...so...i bid you farewell...for good...goodnight...

9:48 PM - 22 views - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Currently Listening
Siren Song of the Counter Culture
By Rise Against
Swing Life Away
see related

Pains of Yesterday

the pains of yesterday had gone away
but they have arose to see another day
they haunt me every minute of every hour
and when they strike i brace myself
i fight the tears that mine eyes wish to release
i fight them back with all my being
so that my day may go on without delay
they come to me at the most inopportune times
during lunch, school, work, home
to be quite honest, anywhere i go
i try to avoid them as much as i can
but they follow me, as if they are trying to speak
little reminders pricking me like thorns of a rose
pricking and pricking
they hurt as of now
reminding me of a time i genuinely smiled
that time is gone, as much as i hate it
but the reminders remain
pricking and pricking
as though i could have changed things
i fought as hard as i could
i tried everything within my own power
but, the fact remains
things didn't turn out as i had hoped
and the tears from the pains of yesterday
stain my pillow while i weep

---QUOTE---

Artist - Rise Against
Album - Siren Song of the Counter Culture
Song - Swing Life Away
Quote - "If love is a labor i'll slave till the end."

4:11 PM - 14 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Sunday, March 04, 2007

...yea...moving on is really hard...and well...i thought i had...but...if i continued to think so i'd be wrong...and all i would be doing is trying to convince myself of something i know isn't true...as i have done before...and i fight and fight off these feelings of helplessness...but they always return...when the important things in your life aren't in your hands...but in someone else's...the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness are there...and they don't go away as much as you may try to fight them...and distract yourself with things that make you happy...which had been working...it had been working damn well...but when the distractions go away...the feelings return and you feel like shit yet again...but...it's something i must fight on my own...those around me only distract me...and when i release myself unto them i feel relieved...but then once i'm alone to myself...it returns...it always returns...and as much as i love my friends...(which means a lot...because i don't like to use that word)...but as much as i love them...there are things that they can't help me with...but i must handle on my own...by myself without any outside help...i've never had problems letting things go in the past...which is probably one of the reasons this is hitting me so damn hard...but when everything seems to be just fine and dandy...then it crashes down in an instant...it just...it hurts...and i guess it's just something i will have to learn to deal with for the future...because i am cursed to be a "nice guy" and there's no way of changing that...but...life moves on...as do feelings...i hope...

5:59 PM - 35 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Thursday, March 01, 2007

so...moving on usually isn't easy...but...at some point one must do it...which i have...and it was relatively easy...this Tuesday at work i just decided to call it over with...and...all that's left is one final gesture from yours truly...and another chapter in my life is written and put aside...but...then when it comes down to it...i am always the what if kind...like...what if i had done this little thing differently...would it have changed the eventual outcome...and i have been getting better and leaving that behind...because lets face it...the what ifs just aren't going to happen...there's noway something in the past could be changed...the past is the one true thing that is set in stone...while the future has yet to come...so i look on into the future for my what ifs now...which is a much better way to go about it...because there's no way to change what i am...and i will always be a what if person...but the what ifs of the future are the ones that count...because they are still possible...but the what ifs of the past are gone and done with...and one must move on or the past will consume you and you will live in self woe...but...it is always nice to sometimes think..."what if things did turn out differently?" and as much as i wish they had...they didn't...or i wouldn't be as i am right now...but...you can't do anything about what others will do...you can only try and influence them...but when someone's mind is set...it's set...and there's no changing that...all you can do is follow what you believe...for me...that is my heart...i follow whatever my heart tells me to do...even though my head often says otherwise...because...in the end...you may end up doing stupid things...but you will be happy of the outcome...and will never have the what ifs of the past because you had tried everything in your power to do or get that which you wanted and even if you had failed...you had no control of the outcome...

9:31 PM - 14 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

so...lately my life has been going up and down and up and down...and well...you get the picture...and the up moments have been absolutely amazing...but the down ones were...lets just go with not pretty to save the horrific detail that i don't really care to explain...and of course...what is at the center of these feelings you ask?...well isn't it obvious what it is for a teenage guy...well...that is a "nice guy" in general for that matter...who happens to be in the teenage years of his life...of course it's females...well not the sex in general but one in particular...whom i had fallen in love with in the matter of a month...and well...then was thrown away after that month was over...but yea...it was a spectacular month...everything about it...but...i try and try not to dwell on the past...but when the past happens to be better than the present it's really hard not to...and of course in my typical fashion...i have held a lot of my feelings on the inside...but of course i have a terrific friend that has helped me through it...and is continuing to do so...and well yea...the fight for her isn't over...well for myself that is...i had never felt anything like when i was with her...so of course i am continuing to try and try...but of course...what happens when "nice guys" try for something they really want?...they get screwed over in the end...but...that's what i am and there's no changing that...and i don't think i could even if i wanted to...but anyways...last night i went to a My Chemical Romance concert in Cleveland which was phenomenal...unfortunately we were stuck in seats and didn't get to go down on the floor...but it was still amazing...and yea...that's all for me for now...

3:07 PM - 6 views - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

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